Empathy vs Advancement: A False Tradeoff?
During a leadership training, a senior executive raised a question that many professionals recognize but rarely articulate openly.
Why would someone choose to lead with empathy when they see others, often with weaker people skills but stronger political instincts, advancing faster within the organization?
Examples like Elon Musk and Steve Jobs were mentioned: highly successful, influential leaders whose interpersonal styles have often been described as demanding, harsh, or emotionally distant.
And I get it, that observation is not wrong. Many organizational systems reward visibility, decisiveness, confidence, and political acumen far more consistently than they reward care, listening, or emotional awareness. Unfortunately, in many companies it is still entirely possible to progress while leaving people bruised along the way (although things seem to be changing, judging by the increasing demand we receive for our empathy and heart-centered leadership trainings).
Leaders who inspire
In my leadership workshops, I often invite participants to look back across their entire career and choose one leader they genuinely admired, someone who had shaped them in a lasting way, who was a role-model. I ask them to write down that person’s defining characteristics.
Without exception, the words that come up are about empathy, listening, fairness, presence, humanity, and trust. No one mentions emotional distance or political maneuvering as qualities they admire, even though many of those admired leaders had undoubtedly operated in complex and competitive environments. Invariably, all participants agree that they want to be like that leader who led with the heart!
This exercise often creates a quiet moment of recognition, because it exposes the gap between what may accelerate a career and what leaves a meaningful human imprint.
What research says about empathy and performance
When empathy and emotional intelligence in leadership are examined through a performance lens, the data is consistent. According to Gallup, managers account for up to 70% of the variance in team engagement. Teams with high engagement demonstrate 21% higher profitability, 17% higher productivity, and 59% lower turnover compared to disengaged teams. Leader behavior is one of the strongest drivers of engagement, particularly behaviors associated with listening, trust, and perceived fairness.
Empathy also plays a central role in innovation through its relationship with psychological safety. Google’s Project Aristotle found that psychological safety was the single most important factor differentiating high-performing teams from others. Teams perform better when people feel safe to speak up, challenge ideas, admit mistakes, and take interpersonal risks. Empathetic leadership behaviors are among the strongest enablers of this environment.
At the organizational level, research from McKinsey & Company reinforces this link. McKinsey’s Organizational Health Index shows that organizations in the top quartile of organizational health are more than twice as likely to outperform their peers financially over the long term. Trust, supportive leadership, and open communication are core components of organizational health.
McKinsey has also found that inclusive and empathetic leadership behaviors improve decision-making quality and increase the likelihood that diverse perspectives are heard, particularly in complex and uncertain environments.
Similarly, research by Ernst & Young identifies empathy as a critical leadership capability during transformation and change. EY’s work highlights that leaders who demonstrate empathy and fairness experience higher engagement, lower resistance to change, and stronger collaboration across teams, all of which directly affect execution quality and performance outcomes.
These findings align with decades of emotional intelligence research. Psychologist Daniel Goleman has consistently argued that self-awareness and empathy are foundational leadership capabilities, particularly as roles increase in complexity.
As Daniel Goleman, the father of Emotional Intelligence has written, “If you are tuned out of your own emotions, you will be poor at reading them in other people.”
A false tradeoff?
So the evidence is clear: empathy and emotional intelligence in leadership are not at odds with performance. On the contrary, they are strongly associated with higher engagement, stronger collaboration, lower turnover, and better decision-making. Leaders who lead with empathy consistently get better results from people.
At the same time, leadership does not happen in a vacuum. Organizations are political systems. Influence, visibility, alliances, and timing matter. Career progression often requires navigating power dynamics, advocating for oneself, and understanding how decisions are really made.
The real question, then, is not whether empathy works, but how it is practiced.
For many leaders, the distinction is internal versus external. Internally, with their own teams, they choose to lead with empathy, trust, and psychological safety, because that is how strong teams are built and sustained. Externally, they develop the political and strategic acumen required to operate effectively within the system and to advance their careers.
This is not a trade-off between being empathetic or being successful, but rather a choice about how one wants to reach their goals.
Balancing empathy with performance
Empathetic leadership does not require choosing between results and relationships. The challenge is to integrate empathy with performance, influence, and political awareness in a way that strengthens, rather than stalls, career progression.
Lead with high support and high challenge
Work from Graham Williams, author of “The Human Factor” shows that sustainable performance sits in the zone of high support combined with high challenge. Empathy creates safety and trust, while challenge provides clarity, standards, and momentum. Leaders who balance both avoid being perceived as either permissive or authoritarian and are more likely to be seen as credible and effective.
Use empathy to improve decision quality and execution
Research consistently shows that leaders who listen well gain access to better information. Empathy helps surface risks, dissenting views, and early warning signs, which improves decision-making and reduces costly surprises. This directly supports execution and strengthens a leader’s reputation for sound judgment.
Translate empathy into the language of performance
Empathy gains traction when it is linked to outcomes. When managing upward, frame people-related needs in terms of delivery, capacity, risk, retention, and long-term performance. Research from McKinsey shows that leaders who connect people practices to business outcomes are more likely to be trusted with broader responsibility.
Build political capital through trust vs transactions
Empathy strengthens influence by helping leaders understand stakeholder motivations, pressures, and priorities. Influence grows when others feel understood and respected, not merely negotiated with. Over time, this builds political capital that supports advancement without burning relationships.
Signal warmth and competence together
Studies on leadership perception consistently show that leaders are most effective when they signal both competence and warmth. Empathy without clarity can be misread as weakness, while clarity without empathy can erode engagement. Combining the two positions leaders as both human and decisive.
Protect your team while navigating upward
One practical way leaders integrate empathy and ambition is by buffering their teams from unnecessary pressure while managing expectations upward with realism and clarity. This increases loyalty and performance internally while maintaining credibility externally.
Treat empathy as a differentiator, not a compromise
Leaders who consistently deliver results without creating burnout or disengagement develop a strong reputation over time. Research on trust and leadership shows that such reputations increase the likelihood of being selected for complex, high-impact roles.
A question of identity
Ultimately, the way we lead becomes a question of identity rather than technique. So take some time to answer the following questions for yourself:
Who do you want to be remembered as in the lives of the people who worked with you?
How do you want to make an impact on others, long after projects, targets, and titles have changed?
Leading with the heart does not limit ambition, but it certainly defines the path you choose to take to get to success.