Why Trust At Work Begins Before A Single Word Is Spoken
“Are you warm? Are you competent?”
These are the first two questions we ask ourselves, almost unconsciously, when we meet someone new at work and, everywhere else.
Research shows that within half a second of meeting a new person, the brain instinctively scans for answers to two questions:
Can I trust this person?
Are this person capable?
In other words, our brains are assessing safety first and value second.
The importance of warmth and competence
Warmth signals positive intent and psychological safety. Competence signals credibility and usefulness. Both matter, but not equally, and not in the same order.
Leaders who are perceived as both warm and competent consistently inspire higher levels of trust, engagement, and discretionary effort than those who are strong in only one of the two. And there’s a reason warmth comes first.
Before we can collaborate, follow, or contribute fully, we need to feel safe. Only then does competence truly land.
Think about your own experience at work:
A highly competent colleague who feels cold, dismissive, or distant is often avoided.
A warm colleague who lacks credibility or skill may be liked, but rarely followed.
The strongest professional relationships, and the strongest leaders, combine both.
Competence is easier to understand, measure, and develop. Warmth, however, is more nuanced. While some people are naturally warmer than others, many leaders unintentionally send signals that contradict their positive intentions, often without realizing it.
Signals of warmth
It’s not about being nice, agreeable, or avoiding difficult conversations, but mostly about signaling positive intent. So how do people actually perceive warmth? Mostly through fast, non-verbal cues, such as:
Facial expression and eye contact
Tone of voice and pacing
Micro-behaviors, such as listening without interrupting
When we reflect on the people we instantly like or trust, they often share these subtle traits.
How to intentionally exude warmth
→ Acknowledge others’ contributions visibly
Say the positive thing out loud. Give credit generously, when it’s authentic. Recognition builds trust faster than silence ever will.
→ Listen fully before responding
We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Pausing, listening, and not rushing to reply, signals respect and presence.
→ Show consistency between words and actions
Trust grows when behavior is predictable. Respond similarly to similar situations over time. Walk the talk every time.
→ Regulate emotional reactions under pressure
This is one of the hardest skills to master. In my experience, even 5–10 minutes of daily mindfulness practice can dramatically improve emotional self-regulation and leadership presence.
→ Maintain eye contact and smile
Look people in the eyes when you speak. A genuine smile signals openness and safety more quickly than words ever could.
Warmth doesn’t replace competence, but it allows competence to be received.
In leadership, trust is rarely built through authority alone. It’s built in moments (often small, often invisible) where people feel seen, safe, and respected.