Words Create Worlds: How Inner Language Shapes Confidence at Work

We often assume that confidence comes after competence. First we master the skill, then we feel confident enough to speak up, take initiative, or step into visibility. Research suggests it often works the other way around.

Internal dialogue shapes our external view

The way we speak to ourselves internally shapes how we show up externally (in meetings, in decision-making), and in how visible or hesitant we allow ourselves to be at work.

Or, as I often say in leadership trainings: “Words create worlds.”

This is where thought reframing becomes practical, not only motivational. Many professionals carry quiet internal scripts that slowly erode confidence. These thoughts often sound reasonable, even responsible, but they subtly shut down learning, agency, and momentum. Reframing doesn’t deny difficulty; it keeps us in relationship with it.

Choose your words wisely

Here are some common internal scripts, and alternative ways of relating to them:

“I can’t do this.”

→ “I haven’t mastered this yet.”

“This feels overwhelming.”

→ “I’ll focus on the next clear step.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

→ “What’s the most important action right now?”

“I’m not good at this.”

→ “This is a skill I’m developing.”

“This has to be perfect.”

→ “This needs to be clear and useful.”

“I don’t have the energy. I’ll stop.”

→ “I can pause and continue with intention.”

“I’m afraid I’ll fail.”

→ “I’ll learn something either way.”

The power of cognitive reappraisal

This is not positive thinking, nor is it about bypassing discomfort.

It is cognitive reappraisal (a well-studied self-regulation strategy) that helps us reinterpret situations in ways that reduce emotional reactivity while preserving engagement.

Research consistently links cognitive reappraisal with higher self-efficacy and lower stress levels. Professionals with higher self-efficacy are more likely to take initiative, persist through difficulty, and remain resilient when outcomes are uncertain.

In practice, confidence at work grows when our inner language keeps us in the game rather than shutting us down. We don’t need harsher self-talk to perform better.

We need language that supports learning, agency, and forward movement, especially when things feel hard. Because the words we use internally go far beyond describing our experience, they actually shape it.